Okay so here it is almost the end of September and I still have not secured employment in Charlotte. I am disappointed to say the least. I have been doing my job-hunting online and I have applied for more jobs than I care to publicly admit. I realize this approach was not working so I decided to regroup and my next phase involved networking. I read peoples profiles on LinkedIn picked a few people whom I thought might be able to help me and called them. I was nervous as heck but I just told them what I was trying to do and asked if they could help me. Two said they have positions coming up in the near future and were interested in trying to help me. One is in computer security and the other in appraisal. I have my fingers crossed and sending up earnest prayers. If this is meant to be it will happen…not in my time but in the right time.
Now that I feel there is some hope on the horizon I am on a rampage! I have been packing and throwing things out and burning JUNK and getting a giveaway pile ready. My dad is here and is helping me. I absconded some paper boxes from work. They are the perfect size, can carry a heavy load and are a perfect handling size. I went to Lowes and purchased a roll of bubble wrap, a roll of plastic wrap and several rolls of packing tape…would you believe that junk came up to $75?? MY GOD!! I came home and crunched the numbers on the calculator a couple of times and then my dad did the same and yes sir…$75. I was nickled and dimed!!
I have waaaay too much stuff and I blame that ALL on my co-worker Sheila. You see, Sheila is a compulsive shopper. And she is influential. And she hits the stores everyday then calls me and reports the deals. Granted, the deals are usually at least 75% off and the final price is usually under $20, BUT (you knew there was going to be a but right?) there are a lot of them. Buying things that I don’t need just because it is on sale dirt cheap is not a good thing. That is my story and I am sticking to it!! Darn you Sheila!! (LOL) Oh and did I mention her daughter lives in Charlotte and her family is pressuring her to move now that they know I am moving? LOL
I also have a problem with books. I have a gazillion books. I went through my books and there were none I could part with. That’s how it is when you are a nerd. I have an extensive collection of Indian embroidery and craft books that I must keep, a collection of religious studies I must keep, a collection of computer tech books that I must keep, a lot of DIY books that I must keep, craft books that I must keep, Feng Shui books that I must keep, a couple of self-help books I must keep and a lot of history books that I must keep and that is only what I have in my sitting room off my bedroom. I only have one fiction book in the house…. it is my all-time favorite book Li’l Mama’s Rules by Sheneska Jackson. Oh God that has to be the funniest book ever. It is a book she wrote about her personal dating rules and if you are a single woman you can really appreciate the humor in the dating crap we have to go through.
So I been at this all day long and I haven’t even finished the one room yet.
OH and side note…Guess who popped back into my life…with a choice of course..me or your dad…me or Charlotte…live in my home or yours (I will clean out a drawer for you)…grandkids or none… wait, did I even tell you about him?
I was dating a guy and he seemed to be okay. It was not serious but he was a couple of years older than me, did not really want much more than companionship, we had a lot in common and he was willing to relocate to Charlotte if I would have him. It was a comfortable relationship. I liked him but I was not too sure I wanted to be in a committed relationship with him with so many things going on in my life ya know? Then here came my ex, we will call him Pappa Bear, who came back on the scene and the next thing I know we were back together. I don’t know if every one has one like him in their life but he is the one who I loved to pieces but never could really stay with him long term because he has some serious issues and I could not stay away from him because we never got closure. If I turned a blind eye towards his issues he was everything, tall, light eyes, sweet, gentle, attentive, loving, and really knew how to treat a woman special. He was on the heavier side and was the ONLY overweight guy I ever dated and his naked body absolutely repulsed me, but that was the one thing I was willing to overlook as long as we did it in the dark, because we had a lot of other things in common and we always had a good time together. But then things would always inevitably go sour and we would break up. Then he would tell his female friends and there would be a hate club going on. Then he would pop back up and repeat the cycle. This went on for over 20 years. You are probably wondering why in the world would I put up with something like this?
Well let me give you the background. When I was a little girl, like about 6 years old I had a bully. It was my neighbors grandson. He was extremely mean and sadistic. Soon as he saw me he used to poke me in my butt with straight pins and threaten me that I better not tell. I withstood this abuse for a couple of his visits. One day I was sitting on the sidewalk crying my eyes out because I was hurt, tired of being abused and not knowing what to do. Here came Pappa Bear and when he saw me crying he asked me why I was crying. I would not tell him at first but he demanded to know if someone was hurting me and I BETTER tell. He was a big guy and when he demanded an answer, you answered. So I finally did and in two seconds he took care of the situation. He confronted the bully, told him the consequences of what he would do if he even looked my way again then he dried my eyes, gave me a hug and told me if anyone else messes with me to tell him and he would take care of it. To him I was just the pretty little girl that everyone on the block looked out for but to me….he became my hero. This story is taking too long to tell but fast forward you can imagine I had a weak spot for him. But the thing with him is that his Mom was married to this guy who had a mistress for as long as I can remember. And they had MAJOR drama that everyone on the block witnessed. And the bottom line was the husband was always confronted by the women (publicly) to choose who he wanted to be with but he never did…he just flip-flopped back and forth. So the son, Poppa Bear, grew up always picking people where the relationship always boiled down to a me or him scenario. “Him” was always another man, a daddy, a husband, a best friend, the comforter, whatever. In talking with him every relationship he had ended the same way. He either wore the woman out mentally from the constant making them choose or they would not choose him. And if there was no choice to be made he did not know how to handle the relationship. So you see what I mean about issues? It’s crazy. Bottom line is I finally, finally, finally made a choice on our brief engagement, that I could not live my life like that and I broke up with him and I finally got my closure.
Something good came about in all this chaos!